Friday, 18 October 2013

RESET POINT. "a new begining"

Dear Avid fans.

Firstly, yes I'm still here.
I have not fallen into a black hole or lost interest in this Blog or even been abducted by Aliens.

A lot has happened in my life recently and I now find my world kind of standing on it's head compared to my life previously.
This is not intended as an excuse for not posting in such a long time. And I do apologise for the long absence. However, life has a way of turning your best laid plans to shit at times doesn't it.

Prior to March 2013, I had lots of plans and ideas for this Blog. There was such a lot of stuff I wanted to put on here but life being what it is, I always had other things that held priority for my time. Things like work, personal admin regarding bills and paperwork, keeping up with chores and at the same time fitting in a little leisure time on the hills, forests or in the canoe.
So Blogging was at the bottom of my pile if things to do, even more than having fun outdoors.

Work hard, long hours, tasks, chores, keep up with life, fit it in, squeeze it in, make time from out of nowhere for so much.......

March 17th 2013. Brain haemorrhage. All engines full stop.

I was Very fortunate that it was a Sunday afternoon at home when I blew my head gasket.
Had I been on an outdoor adventure or at work I would not be here writing this now. I would have been on my own in my lorry or up a fell side or in the middle of a lake without any help and in no condition to call for my own emergency assistance.
Fortunately I was at home with Karen "an ex nurse" She called the ambulance and got me to hospital. I was immediately sent from our local hospital across the country to Newcastle Royal Victoria Infirmary who specialise in head gasket failures and was operated on the very same day.
Yes that's right, brain surgery, full on messing about with the jelly up top.

The result is, I am alive and kicking. Thank you so much Karen for your fast reactions, and thank you to the RVI for fixing my little problem.
I'm told its down to Karen's quick response that I'm here today and for that I can never thank her enough.

OK, so the result is that I now cant think or do things the way I could before. This is a good point to explain that I may repeat myself on here, fail to explain things the way I could before, loose the thread of what I'm writing, get things arse backwards and generally come across with less clarity and eloquence than before. Hmm thank fuck for spell check eh!

I can no longer work and I need 24/7 supervision apparently, but Karen is now my carer and has taken over running life in general for me so again thank you Karen.
They tell me I will improve with time and Visits with the specialists helping me "cant thing what you call them at the moment" And the bottom line is It's all new to me "especially as I have short term memory loss" so give me a break when I screw this up lol.

I'm lucky, lets face it.
I now as a result of all of this see the world in a way slightly different than before.
I'm not just talking about the effects of the condition but in the way I evaluate the world I'm in on a philosophical level.

My plans are to get better where possible and adapt where not. I also find now I have lots of time on my hands. OK, so money is very tight and I also cant just go off adventuring without someone to hold my hand but what I can do is re evaluate my life and focus on what I can do. So here I am. Direction once again, I'm just not sure where it leads ha ha.

I will from now on be posting the stuff that's on my mind. I would like to start the post thread I was planning about wilderness skills and outdoor skills but at the moment its maybe prudent to avoid topics that have serious consequences if I get messed up explaining things. I can however share my views on life and the things I think are important.
I just hope I don't bore the arse off you in the process.

First topic. Man is not invincible and we should all learn to expect the unexpected.
I have always thought this way but sometimes its easy to veer of and forget. Well now my thoughts on this have been realised it has served to crystallise this opinion.
We all need to plan for the future, even the least expected future, just encase.
Yea yea, I hear you. It will never happen to you, maybe on the telly or people you know but never you.
Well I got news, It can happen to you so you better get used to the possibility and toy with the idea of what if. Just encase.

I'm not talking about a brain fart like mine "but its possible" I'm talking about the hundreds if not thousands of other things that could go wrong.
I'm not talking doom and gloom here, after all we have insurance for our cars, house contents, holidays we take and even insure for fire and theft. That dose not mean we are hoping or dwelling on what if's, we are just being practical and responsible adults in accepting that things can and do go wrong in life. So why not contemplate other things that can go wrong.

OK, I was not expecting a brain fart and to be honest I never even put it in the what if box. But that's besides the point.
What I'm suggesting you do is this.
Take a moment with out distractions and without bias opinion, to contemplate what you really need from life to survive and be happy. I'm not talking about like, want, desire or consumerism driven need but real need. what do you really need.

I will leave that thought with you for now and talk a little more when you have pondered it.

So, to recap, lots of things have changed including the future.
I'm still here.
I still intend to Blog about my interests, but I will expand the subject matter and re prioritise postings due to recent events in my life.
I don't expect or want sympathy, but a little patience with my current abilities would be greatly appreciated.
Again I want to thank Karen for saving my life.
Actually Just to prove what an absolute diamond Karen is she not only got me through it and stabilised "a point where most people would walk away from the burden of life care" she also stuck by me and continues to do so.
Karen is one of life's few rare people that you know you can depend on. I solid rock in the storm of life and one of the true friends I can count on one hand.
And as of last week she is also my wife, committed to us.

Have I lost the thread of this blog yet lol.
Time to sign off I think.
Back soon, regards Jack.

PS you may think there is nothing wrong with my writing and therefor I'm just being thick.
But what would have taken me ten minutes to write before now takes me hours to construct and correct, re-phrase and try and present in a intelligible Blog.
I hope your not to picky and can still put up with me.

Ta ta :)  

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear its been a bad start to the year. Congratulations on your wedding. Hope you start to recover well and get back to the out door life you enjoy xx

    ReplyDelete

Please keep it clean and polite, not that im a prude but this is a public blog and manners cost nothing.